


A Dark Secret: A Tale of Love and War

by LilahMontgomery



Series: Hogwarts A/U Fics [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A/U, Angst, Bloodplay, Cannon Events, Dark, Heavily implied sexual contact, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Male Slash, follows the books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-02 00:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 38
Words: 14,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4040224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilahMontgomery/pseuds/LilahMontgomery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus and James meet as children, but when their love is met with hatred, they start to meet in secret.<br/>Both love danger, both dream of fame and glory, both dream of War.<br/>Arrogance and lust for power draw them into a war which only one will emerge from, as Severus and James take their childhood games to a whole new level. </p><p>A Tale of Love and War</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Had to repost this fic due to editing issues!
> 
> This is my second fiction EVER so there may still be problems.  
> Been writing this little story for a few months now, finally happy enough to share it. It's totally different to my normal writing so it's been a challenge.  
> This is a twist- a Snape/James secret relationship, but following the Book storyline (as much as possible.)  
> Please feel free to comment, I love those! I realise this won't be liked by everyone but try to be constructive!  
> I do not own these characters nor Harry Potter or anything relating to it. This is not for profit, just for fun  
> Enjoy :)

Severus is five and he is lonely.

His mother stands in the corner of their small kitchen turning bacon, he tries to talk to her but she isn’t listening to him. 

He wants to jump down from the wooden chair he is sat on, but thinks better of it. 

His unkempt hair keeps falling into his face, his tee shirt is dirty, his skin more so. 

He glances at the newspapers on the table: The Sun and the Daily Prophet. 

Scared faces look back at him from one, happy faces from the other- he is confused who he should agree with and who to ignore. 

His mother drops his breakfast in front of him, takes the Prophet and leaves him to eat alone. 

 

Severus is seven and he has taken to playing by himself. 

Other children treat him like a stray, occasional small acts of kindness and the odd smile, but he is normally left alone. 

He is starting to feel this is the way of things, normal is a relative concept. 

Alone is normal. 

Alone is what he is, though he is not normal. 

 

A million thoughts and ideas fly through his head as he distracts himself from the world with his mother’s spell books. 

He devours the information like a vampire does blood- the knowledge feeding his mind, filling his soul with hope and a sense of power. 

Magic flows through him like electricity, he strikes with the destruction and precision of a lightning storm. 

 

Severus is nine and he feels violent. 

His parents shouting at each other downstairs is distracting him from his studying, he pushes his notes away and breaths, filling his lungs with calming air. 

The sun set a long time ago yet no one has noticed he is not in bed. 

None one ever did. He breaths out and feels magic tingle on his skin. 

He looks at the glass on his table, the lightning strikes and it shatters into shards. 

He looks at his books, they fly open and ripped pages fill the air. 

His gaze falls to a small insect hiding under his bed. 

He tears it into body parts with a look. 

He feels alone, he feels violent but he feels powerful. 

 

James is nine and he feels happy. 

He devours fairy tales like a dementor does souls- soaking them up, filling his head with hope and a sense of power. 

His home is full of laughter and magic. 

His imagination makes his heart fly. 

Happiness is normal. 

James is happy but he is not normal. He is powerful. 

He goes to the park almost every day to fight his daydreams. 

He lays waste to the forces of darkness which terrify and fascinate in equal measure. 

He climbs into the highest towers of the grandest castles and declares victory over all things. 

James is not alone but something is missing.


	2. Chapter 2

James fights the forces of darkness by himself in the park.

He punches and blasts at the air in front of him, his imagination filling the empty space with enemies seeking to harm him. 

Suddenly he stills. 

A boy- smaller than him with dark, messy hair and ill-fitting clothes emerges from the bushes beside him. 

He watches as the boy picks up a stick and points it at him. 

He should be nervous, but curiosity takes the wheel. 

“Who are you?” He asks. 

“A dark wizard,” comes the reply. 

James smiles, excitement rising from his centre. 

“What’s your name then, dark wizard?” 

“Severus,” comes the reply. 

The boy is small but he is intense. 

James is both terrified and fascinated in equal measure. 

He tries to tear his eyes from the boy’s penetrating stare but he finds he cannot. 

His thoughts are cloudy, his excitement increases. 

“Is that actually your name, though?” He asks, picking up another stick and beginning to walk a small circle around this new foe. 

“Yes. Ok, I’m Dragon Killer,” Came the thoughtful reply. 

The boy’s eyes are still locked on James but he stays completely still- watching. 

James feels a laugh bubbling up, but he presses it down, arranging his expression into playful concentration instead. 

The boy’s lips have curled into a wicked smile, he shifts his weight slightly and waits for an answer to an unasked question. 

James registers the silence and fills it. 

“Oh, I’m James- but you can call me ‘Godric the Great.” 

The boy simply nods and continues to wait. 

James feels impatient and excited. 

Severus feels violent. 

The stick fight is over quickly and changes into a brawl of fists and magic. 

Severus is concise and fights with precision, James is excited and fights with energy. 

They lie next to each other on the grass, panting and sated. 

They flick their eyes to each other and exchange grins. 

Severus is not alone and James is happy.


	3. Chapter 3

Severus and James continue to clash together.

Severus teaches James new spells and opens his mind to the many tendrils of magic; James sits opposite his captive audience and fills Severus’ mind with stories of power and greatness. 

 

Whole conversations are said with looks, the joy of the other’s presence is thought consuming. 

They fill the summer with games and laughter, stories and play fights- epic battles fought in gardens and on the street. 

When his parents fight downstairs, Severus lets his mind drift into day-dreams, James surrounds himself with knowledge that may impress his new friend. 

They hug each other tightly after each period of separation, they hold hands when running to keep the other close. 

They explore abandoned farm buildings, climb trees, throw stones or just lie on the grass telling each other stories and laughing. 

Through all the joy and companionship, they both feel a storm approaching. 

They enjoy their moments together as completely as they can, all the while, bracing for the impact. 

 

It is a Tuesday afternoon and the storm is about to hit.

The pair are watching the television in Severus’ bedroom, Severus with his head on James’ lap, James lazily playing with Severus’ hair. 

The smaller boy looks up at the door to find his father standing there, stock-still, watching them. 

There is something unfathomable in his eyes, his large frame oozing something sinister and frightening. 

Severus listens to his instincts and slowly sits up to position himself a little way away from James. 

James throws him a questioning glance before noticing the man at the door. 

He suppresses a shiver and forces his eyes back to the programme. 

Slowly the man walks away from the door and can be heard downstairs, leaving James confused and nervous, Severus anxiously chewing his nails. 

Severus does not feel alone, nor does he feel powerful.


	4. Chapter 4

The day Severus’ letter inviting him to Hogwarts arrives is an exciting day indeed.

His skin is prickling, his joy uncontrollable. 

He runs into the living room to be met with limited enthusiasm, but he is too happy to care. 

He runs full speed to the park where James is waiting for him. 

James is re-energised at the sight of the smaller boy rushing towards him and stands up to meet him, before bringing his arms around him and lifting him clear off the ground. 

Severus holds him tight, laughing in his ear, hands still clutching the letter. 

James puts him down and they stare into each other’s eyes with electricity sparking in the space between them. 

“We’re both going to be in Griffindor, we can stay up all night and learn new spells and stories,” James exclaims excitedly. 

The spark between them changes suddenly as Severus’ eyes darken. 

“No,” he states, “we’ll be in Slytherin.” 

James blinks and shakes his head, his smile returning. 

“Who cares as long as we’re together,” he says. 

Severus returns the smile and with that, James leans down and presses their lips together. 

Severus presses back hesitantly and they break apart quickly but amicably. 

“Come on, let’s get lunch at mine,” James suggests as they start walking down the road. 

Severus feels a new normal between them as they go. 

 

The initial fear was nothing compared to the pain in his head he feels now.

Severus slides slowly down the wall as his father backs away a few paces but stays squarely in front of him. 

Severus looks up at him, he feels violent but his magic doesn’t seem to rise to help him now. 

His head aches were it has been hit against the wall, his vision swims and all thought has been shattered. 

All he can do is breath and watch. His father crouches down at eye level and stares at him menacingly. 

“I have not raised a faggot for a son,” he states, dark eyes flashing dangerously. 

“Learn your lesson, boy, I do not want to be humiliated by you again.” 

With that, his father gets slowly up, and leaves the room. 

His mother is sitting panting in the corner, her eyes red from crying, lip split and bleeding. 

She cannot even look at him.


	5. Chapter 5

Severus is on the floor crying, and James is standing over him.

They are in the park, but it is dark and both have escaped their rooms to be there. 

James strains against the darkness to see his friend, but Severus’ mop of messy black hair is obscuring his face anyway. 

James says nothing, Severus says nothing. 

The smaller boy’s sobs fill the silence between them until very carefully, James places his hand on Severus’ head. 

He regrets it instantly. 

A painful jolt spreads from his hand through his body like there is fire in his veins. 

Severus’ head flicks up as James pulls away, Severus’ face a tear-stained vision of absolute fury. 

James feels frightened, Severus feels violent. 

“Dad says it’s called ‘gay’. He says it’s wrong if we touch each other-feel this way about each other. Someone saw us kissing- my parents are seriously pissed off with me! This is all because of you!” he spat. 

James is dumbstruck and confused. 

He waits for permission to speak to be given wordlessly before he opens his mouth at all. 

“I-I thought it was called ‘love’?” he states simply. 

He sits down on the grass a little way away, watching Severus writhe in emotional agony at his words. James is no longer happy. James feels alone.


	6. Chapter 6

“That’s exactly it though, surely you understand,”

Severus is sitting next to James on the park bench, but there is much more space between them and he is swinging his legs under himself nervously. 

It has been two days since they last spoke. 

“Well, kind of,” James admits. 

He doesn’t like to feel stupid in front of Severus-they are equal in all things usually, feeding off the other’s enthusiasm and enjoying the way they see everything in the same way. 

In this case, however, it is clear an explanation is needed. 

James looks away and scans their surroundings to make sure they are alone. 

On seeing no one, he tentatively shuffles slightly closer to Severus. 

Severus eyes him suspiciously but doesn’t move. 

“Let me put it simply, clearly all the incest in pureblood families has muddled your brain,” the smaller boy begins. 

James winces at the insult but listens intently anyway. 

“You’re a boy, I’m a boy. We can’t love each other, it’s not natural,” Severus says stiffly. 

He looks away into the trees, legs still swinging. 

James feels confused and his face has started burning. 

“But I like being with you!” His words tumble out of his mouth before his has had a chance to think about them, but he is used to not being guarded around Severus. 

The boy was impossible to lie to- James had long suspected Severus could read his mind. 

It was either that or James was a terrible liar. 

He turns his gaze to the floor and sighs wistfully. 

“That’s what I think, anyway. Sorry,” he says, hurriedly. 

His mouth goes dry and his hands start shaking when Severus doesn’t answer. 

James is now desperate to fill the silence. 

“I can’t see how it’s anyone else’s business.” He adds. 

His heart thumps in his chest as he realises he shouldn’t have ever said anything. 

He slowly slides off the bench, preparing to leave his now former friend behind, but he stops at the sound of the smaller boy’s voice. 

“I like being with you too,” he says quietly. 

James turns to face him, but Severus is still looking away. 

“We can’t tell anyone,” Severus states. 

James nods slowly, thinking back to Mr Snape’s reaction. 

James is then struck with a horrible realisation which makes his stomach lurch and his head spin. 

“Sev- what about school?” 

Finally Severus looks at him. 

“We can pretend we’ve never met and ignore each other if you want? We’ll meet secretly away from everyone else’s opinions and gossiping mouths,” he suggests. 

James nods. 

This idea has clearly been an option Severus has already considered. 

“Ok, yeah-if we’re put in different houses, we’ll be rivals too though,” he says. 

Severus smiles and stands up opposite James, chests almost touching. 

His expression turns mischievous and dark. 

James always got excited tingles running through him when his friend gave him this look. 

“We always were rivals, mate,” Severus whispers. 

He laughs and turns on heal, walking away back to his house, but calls over his shoulder: “and you do love play-fighting- right?” 

James laughs and watches Severus walk out of the park entrance and onto the street beyond. 

James and Severus will never feel alone again.


	7. Chapter 7

They are in first year, Severus is eleven, James is still ten and they are rivals.

James quickly becomes popular and successful in school while Severus struggles to find his feet- made worse by a gang of Griffendors, headed by his own secret companion. 

They clash together violently as if they are in the park again- the addition of wands to the fights makes things far more dangerous, but they don’t mind at all. 

They push themselves and each other to be expert duellists, thick skinned and harsh- insults becoming more personal and severe every day. 

 

In private their relationship has become darker as well. 

They sometimes still sit together holding each other up, speaking softly; but more often than not, the play-fights continue, bantering and joking with each other until they are laughing at the sheer nastiness of their words. 

They grow closer and closer, darker and darker, until there is a fission between them and a sense of constant danger they want to run to and embrace. 

Severus does not like James’ friends, James does not like Severus’ friends. 

They punch, kick, hex, kiss until they cry out, bleed and grin. 

 

They sit together on the floor of the astronomy tower where no one can see them, looking at text books and crinkling their noses in frustration.

Severus has never done a single piece of transfiguration homework, James has never done a piece of potions. 

They sit on the stone, swapping over essays and giggling behind the backs of their teachers. 

They have copied each other’s handwriting so many times that they have to force their fingers to write properly. 

Severus looks over to James and grins. 

“I hardly recognise you when you’re concentrating, you know,” he states. 

James pretends to be outraged and launches himself onto the smaller boy. 

They roll on the floor together giggling before coming to rest, James with his head on Severus’ chest, listening to his heart beat. 

After he has caught his breath, James sits up. 

He pulls his knees to his chest and looks out over the fields to the forest beyond. 

“How long do you think we can keep this up?” James asks. 

Severus smiles and looks at the ceiling. 

“Until one or both of us are dead or we grow out of our silly ‘phase’,” he answers.


	8. Chapter 8

It is third year and James is showing Severus a new room he has found.

James has inherited an invisibility cloak which they use to move around the castle together without arousing suspicion. 

Severus is wearing it, walking cautiously behind James, who leads him deeper and deeper into the heart of the castle. 

All of a sudden James comes to a halt and stands proudly in front of a gradually appearing doorway. 

It takes all of Severus’ self-control not to gasp out loud- he will deny James the satisfaction of knowing he has impressed him. 

The door stands where the wall had previously and James leads them inside. 

The room is small with a sofa, a gentle fire in the hearth and a pair of desks against the wall next to each other. 

Severus steps inside, closes the door, takes off the cloak and gazes around him in barely concealed wonder. 

James laughs. 

“It’s different whatever you need it for,” he explains, “it’s called the room of requirement.” 

Severus fights to keep his mouth closed and allows his eyes to settle on James, smirking. 

“I thought that was a myth. Typical you to make a legend real just for your own amusement,” he clicks his tongue in his mouth and slowly wanders around, picking up stray objects here and there, examining the walls. 

James watches him closely, enjoying the calculating movements and methodical way in which Severus works. 

“We’ve been mapping the castle,” James says to Severus’ back. 

The smaller boy stills for a moment, then goes back to running his hands over the walls, feeling the magic within them. 

“I can show you loads of places but I thought this one was the most…useful,” James choses his last word carefully, raising an eyebrow cheekily as Severus turns to face him. 

A conversation takes place between them with micro expressions before Severus concedes with a dark smile.


	9. Chapter 9

It is fifth year and they are still clashing together.

They come to blows on an almost daily basis, but their power has gathered into a storm, striking others at random. 

James is fifteen and he feels violent. 

Severus is fifteen and he feels powerful. 

Their gentle chaste kisses of childhood have become hungry, passionate and dark, tongues duelling, fighting for dominance. 

Their wrestling and giggling has become grinding hips, throwing each other against walls, tasting, touching and biting. 

Their public personas have changed too. 

They are more vicious than ever, Severus shouting and swearing at anyone who annoys him, James hexing anyone who dares cross him. 

They are two sides of the same coin, the same person in different bodies, crashing together like waves against a rocky shoreline, leaving devastation in their wake. 

 

Severus is excited.

He has frightened many of his former bullies with his darkness and increased size. 

He has taken to not wearing his robes, wearing his hair shorter but messy, chains hanging from his belt, heavy boots for unfortunate shins or toes on his feet. 

He walks with confidence, power, arrogance and an air of danger which many avoid. 

Everyone but his latest quarry: The Griffendors who had bullied him from the first day at school. 

He tugs on a coat as he checks his wand. 

They were going to wish they’d never fucked with him. 

Tonight he would catch them sneaking around and James and he could be free of them. 

His mouth twists into an evil smile as he imagines the looks on their stupid faces. 

 

He makes his way quickly to the side doors into the grounds, carefully avoiding main corridors, using the secret ones James had shown him instead.

He pushes the doors open and hisses as the cold air hits him. 

He savours the discomfort for a minute before rising his magic to his skin, feeling little pinpricks of heat dance over him. 

He shuts the door quietly behind him and walks quickly to the far side of the field. 

His eyes dart around as he goes, gathering his thoughts and steeling his resolve. 

This was going to be excellent, pure unadulterated joy. 

He doesn’t allow himself to smile as he approaches the Whomping Willow, instead he centres himself and focuses his mind to the task of getting passed the violent tree’s branches. 

Severus is quick on his feet from years of fights and avoids the first attacks with ease. 

He is forced to make a diving forward roll over an unseen branch as it whips towards him and ducks into a crouch as the second glides passed his head. 

A quick forward flip and forward roll is all it takes to get him to the base of the tree and he pokes the exposed knot at the bottom with a small prayer to a deity he is unsure exists. 

As if by magic, the tree stills and the onslaught stops. 

He notices a gap in the trunk large enough to slip through and lands in a narrow tunnel underneath the roots. 

The tunnel is pitch black so he is forced to retrieve his wand from his coat pocket, saying “Lumos,” in his head and watching the light appear at the end. 

He chuckles to himself-this is too easy. 

He makes his way slowly down the long passageway, his wand high so his eyes aren’t blinded and his night vision has a chance to adjust. 

Finally at the end is a doorway. 

His skin starts to pickle again, this time with the closest to fear Severus has felt in a long time. 

Danger-both he and James seem to be drawn to it. 

He enjoys the sensation as it washes over him in a freezing wave and continues on regardless, breath catching slightly as he reaches the door. 

He puts his hand on the handle and starts to push.


	10. Chapter 10

Out of no-where, strong arms grab him around the waist and pull him back.

He topples off balance before landing hard on his back, wand flying out his hand, hands out in front of him, grabbing for his assailant. 

The door has swung open and moonlight has tricked into the passage from the window inside. 

Severus swears and grabs hold of fabric. 

He gives it a sharp pull and the attacker topples over onto him, earning a grunt from both of them. 

“Black, I know that’s you! What are you doing here?” Severus yells at the weight on his stomach. 

The boy on top of him turns his head, wriggles out of his grasp and yanks him roughly to his feet. 

“Run, you fucking idiot!” Comes the angry reply. 

James. 

Severus is taken by the hand and pulled down the passage towards the grounds, feet barely keeping up. 

He hears a noise behind them but keeps his eyes on the floor to avoid falling again. 

He is half dragged through the entrance to the tunnel and gasps as James pushes him into the other side of the tree, pressing his own body against him. 

They stay still for a moment, breathing hard until there is a snarl from the entrance of the tunnel. 

James holds his breath, Severus does the same, eyes darting, trying to gain understanding. 

Then his blood turns to ice as his ears are filled with the unmistakeable howl of a werewolf. 

Shit- he had been right- and his own foolish love of all things dangerous was going to get them both killed. 

His brain comes to an abrupt halt as he strains to hear where the creature is. 

After what feels like an eternity, they hear the beast run off into the forest and can breathe again. 

James lets him go and collapses on the tree beside him. 

 

Both boys slide down to the floor, panting with relief, silently counting their blessings. 

“Why did you think I was Sirius?” The voice is trembling uncharacteristically for James. 

Severus looks into his eyes and sees fear, relief and…is that excitement? 

Severus shakes his head and settles his eyes unfocussed ahead of them. 

“I had a fight with him, I managed to get behind him and threatened to break his arm if he didn’t tell me where Lupin goes every month. He told me about the tunnel and the knot on the tree.” 

“Right…” James looks away as Severus turns his head to face him, his body radiating fury. 

“Why didn’t you tell me Lupin was a werewolf?” 

“I was sworn to secrecy.” 

“Even from me?” 

“Anyone.” 

“The loyalty you show to your fucking friends is heart-warming. You do realise one of them just tried to kill me?” 

The statement hangs in the air until a lit wand comes between them. 

They look in shock as the face of Albus Dumbledore comes into view. 

“Are you boys alright? What happened? Tell me quickly- is anyone else with you?” 

There is a fission between the boys as they struggle to get past their feelings and back into character. 

“No, Remus has just run into the forest, headmaster,” James says, pushing himself off the tree and standing in mock hostility in front of Severus. 

“Snape decided he would be nosy and let him out. I saved his life, not that I’ve got a thank you from the cocky, greasy git.” 

Severus scowls at him with an expression James isn’t convinced is entirely fake. 

“He was only trying to protect his friend from being outed as a werewolf! Plus factor in that it was Black who convinced me to come here tonight! Thank you? I don’t think so,” Severus spits, looking away angrily. 

Dumbledore’s expression darkens and he starts to lead them towards the castle, a wordless conversation takes place between the two boys trailing behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

It is almost the end of their fifth year and they have barely spoken.

The combination of the incident with Lupin and their exams is proving distracting. 

Their fights in school have now become so dangerous other students have started stepping in to break them up. 

Severus is smoking in the corridors, flicking ash onto the ancient stone floors. 

James is bullying younger students and spends most of his free time in detention. 

They clash together with a force that threatens to break both of them. 

They both feel violent. 

 

James uses one of their private made-up spells against Severus.

He dangles the slytherin in the air and taunts him. 

A Griffendor girl, Lily, makes the mistake of running into the storm. 

She is struck by both of them and hastily retreats. 

 

They sit on the floor of the Room of Requirement, ignoring the desks and spreading their long limbs out on the stone.

Severus is wearing a trilby hat, his hair sticking out at messy angles under it. 

His new werewolf tattoo on his right forearm is uncovered by his rolled up sleeves. 

He is not wearing his school robes or his tie-he isn’t even sure where his tie is. 

James has also taken to wearing black trousers rather than his school robes and has expressed his similar attitude to ties by having his loose around his neck, undone. 

His sleeves are rolled down but they are dirty from Quiddich and he hasn’t bothered to change. 

They often comment on how similar they are and how everyone is too stupid to notice. 

“Recon Lily Evens felt sorry for you, you know, Sev.” 

Severus rolls his eyes and turns the page of his potions book. 

“Spare me,” he groans. 

“Until you called her a ‘Mudblood’ of course.” 

“Of course.” 

“Why’d you say that anyway?” 

“Because she is one.” 

“Sev!” James looks at Severus, furious. 

They both put their books down and stare at each other, James angry, Severus impassive and defiant. 

“What do you want from me, James? She’s a muggle-born. How is it any different from calling her anything else?” Severus asks. 

James is appalled but he can’t find the answer. 

He opts instead for an exasperated expression. 

They sit there like this for a while, arguing silently, neither willing to surrender. 

The tension overwhelms James and his temper forces him to speak. 

“There is a line, Sev, you crossed it,” 

“No I didn’t. There is no line, there are no rules. This is a game and if it’s getting too scary for you, you can always stop playing!” Severus snaps. 

James is speechless and hurt. 

He fights to keep the pain off his face but Severus seems to read his mind again. 

The slytherin’s expression softens and he breathes out a calming sigh. 

He reaches down into his jacket pocket to retrieve his cigarette packet before moving to sit beside James, backs and heads against the wall. 

He takes a cigarette out, lights it, takes a slow drag and offers it to James. 

James takes it, looking away. 

“In Slytherin we use the word ‘Mudblood’ for everything. It came out by habit. If it bothers you, I will try not to say it. That’s all you’re getting,” Severus states flatly. 

James puffs on the cigarette thoughtfully before returning it to Severus and rolling his head towards him. 

“No, don’t worry about it, you’re right,” James concedes, “I probably shouldn’t have threatened to strip you anyway. When we’re in the moment we take what we like.” 

Severus nods, blowing out smoke. It fills the room with a haze. 

“Whenever one nearly kills the other we probably shouldn’t think that it’s funny,” Severus says reflectively. 

James chuckles and looks at the floor. “What the hell is wrong with us?” James says. “Fuck knows, but I like it,” comes the reply.


	12. Chapter 12

It is sixth year and they are still clashing.

James feels like Severus is engulfing his very soul, Severus feels like James is running through his veins. 

James aggressively flirts with Lily Evens in front of Severus, Severus charms girl after girl when he knows James can hear him. 

A private in-joke between them. 

 

They fall into bed together with ease and lust.

Severus can play James’ body like an instrument, James can make Severus come apart with the slightest of touches. 

They talk for hours about the great magical wars of the past, lost in fantasy as if they are children again, taking over each other entirely. 

Both feel powerful. 

Both feel violent. 

 

Severus has stopped doing homework and chooses to take the time to read ahead instead.

“Homework is reinforcing that we do in the lessons,” he explains to James, “I understand everything already- why waste my time?” 

Only James understands. 

The teachers seem more exasperated with his behaviour every week and his detentions pile up. 

He doesn’t feel part of this school anymore, or the wizarding society; he and James have ascended above it. 

“I want to be part of something bigger than this stupid world. Something dark, powerful and dangerous! Something thrilling and wrong in every possible way.” 

Severus repeats this new life goal to James again and again. 

James repeats he feels the same-with his parent’s money, he can do anything, and he longs for excitement. 

Severus walks the corridors at night, exploring and searching. He reads stolen books about dark magic, his head filling with sadistic thoughts and secret passions. 

 

James knows he should be disturbed by Severus’ ever increasing evil, but he accepts it like he does everything else Severus is.

Their souls are intertwined, their hearts beat as one: they have never felt closer to each other, never more alive when they are together. 

James fills his days with study to keep up with his companion. 

Transfiguration comes easily to him, charms comes easily to him, potions he finds more challenging. 

“It’s because you have the concentration span of a drunk pixie,” Severus teases, “potions is a lesson in following instructions and focussing, any idiot should be good at it.” 

James stops making mischief with his friends, attempting to keep his head above water as Severus pulls him further and further out to sea on a current of ambition.


	13. Chapter 13

James has started to wear his glasses all the time.

Severus likes them but bullies him mercilessly anyway. 

“It’s that defective in-bred gene pool you belong to,” he muses, grinning in his sunglasses as they hide behind the Three Broomsticks pub in Hogsmead. 

“That’s funny, mate, really,” James says sarcastically, “so where’d your massive nose come from?” 

“It’s because I lie so much,” comes the quick reply. 

They both laugh and finish smoking. 

“Maybe we should stop lying then? Like, maybe let a few of our friends know?” James asks, tentatively. 

Severus slowly takes his sunglasses off and looks James square in the face. 

“You want to tell people that you’ve been shagging a boy? You, Golden Boy of Griffendor house want to admit a secret love affair with the Bad Boy of Slytherin?” 

He rounds on James who starts feeling very nervous indeed. 

James takes a step back away from the intense stare and dangerously flashing eyes. 

“Well, I can’t possibly see how anyone could have a problem with any of that,” Severus continues, “after all, Black gets pretty physical with me- I mean, we are punching the shit out of each other- but I’m sure he’s such a good mate, he’ll forget all that and just be happy for you.” 

James’ hope shatters and he looks at the floor, defeated. 

Severus pushes past him back into the village with a mumbled “see you around”. 

 

It is a month later and Severus is again, somewhere he shouldn’t be.

He looks up at the bronze and blue decorations of the Ravenclaw Common Room and chuckles to himself. 

A girl, the Ravenclaw sixth year he had seduced into kissing him the night before, comes down the stairs from the dormitories and stops dead. 

“What the hell, Severus?” She asks, shrill and panicked. 

Severus turns around. 

His hair is starting to fall into his eyes again, even with his hat on. 

Today he is wearing his school shirt, but has a pair of black braces on as well over it, hidden by his blazer. 

He looks at her in mock surprise. 

“Since I had so much fun getting off with you, I’d hoped you would be in the mood for more ‘fun’ today,” he says lazily. 

The girl flushes angrily. 

She adjusts her uniform, ties her blonde hair back and marches up to him. 

“So you thought it would be a good idea to break into my private space? You thought I’d be so impressed with your blatant disregard for school rules that I’d-what? Jump into bed with you?” She shouts. 

Severus doesn’t react other than a small shrug. 

He turns on one foot and lights a cigarette before nosing through some of the books which had been left on a table. 

He hears other footsteps coming down the stairs, gasps at his presence and angry chatter. 

He turns to face more than fifty angry Ravenclaws. 

He smiles at them and blows a smoke ring. 

A large male prefect marches forward and snatches his cigarette off him, pushing his face dangerously close. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing in here? How’d you get in?” He asks fiercely. 

Severus stares back defiantly. 

“Your password is a riddle. I solved it by not being an idiot,” he replies. 

This earns him a look of rage but he wants more than that. 

His skin prickles and adrenaline comes to him in a jolt. 

“As for why I’m here, I heard Ravenclaw girls are easy.” 

That seems to be it. The tension snaps and he is hurled to the floor, he grunts as boots and fists attack his body. 

A kick to the stomach knocks the wind out of him and he cannot breathe, a blow to the mouth and he tastes iron. 

He holds back cries of pain until the violence ends and he is unceremoniously dragged to his feet. 

He mentally checks himself over. 

Two people are holding him up under the arms, every part of his body feels bruised and there is a dull ache in his stomach. 

His lip is split and bleeding, his left cheek feels hot and is starting to swell. 

No real damage done. 

The older Ravenclaws are pushing back his attackers and demanding peace. 

Everyone in the room is shouting. 

“We can take you to the hospital wing,” the boy under his left arm offers. 

Severus grins and pulls himself forward away from them. 

The room stills and all eyes are upon him again. 

“I think I know where the hospital wing is,” he says, turning and walking towards the exit. 

Some of the first years are looking up at him in awe, he rewards their worship with a wink and they smile. 

He turns to the room, holds his hands up in mock surrender and spits blood on the floor. 

He leaves before anyone can attack him again.


	14. Chapter 14

Severus makes his way out onto the grounds and comes to rest against the outside wall of the Ravenclaw tower.

The beating he’s taken is starting to hurt but he quite enjoys it. 

Severus has never been afraid of pain, seeing it instead as another experience of life. 

 

He leans heavily against the wall and catches his breath.

He listens carefully to every sound the grounds are making- from the gentle sway of the trees to the roar of unseen beasts in the forest before him. 

After a few minutes he hears footsteps approaching. 

James rounds the corner, takes one look at him and stops dead. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” He exclaims. 

“Wandered into the Eagle’s nest,” Severus casually replies. 

James looks at him for further explanation but nothing comes. 

They both look around for signs of life, find nothing and step close together. 

Severus places his hand behind James’ neck, James places one hand on Severus’ hip and the other reaches up and takes off the Slytherin’s hat. 

Their lips crash down on each other, moving harshly and passionately. 

James gently licks the cut on Severus’ lip and earns a small groan from his companion. 

James sighs happily as he eases Severus’ mouth slightly open with his tongue and deepens the kiss. 

Suddenly James cries out and leaps back, hand clamped to his own mouth. 

He feels blood trickling from his bottom lip. 

“What the hell, Sev! You possessive prick!” 

Severus simply smiles at him. 

“We’ve been fighting,” comes the reply. 

James looks over the other boy’s injuries and laughs. 

They both step back and lean against the wall, shoulder to shoulder, sharing a cigarette. 

 

“So you got yourself beaten up so you had an excuse if we’re seen together?” 

James doesn’t need the answer, he knows this boy too well to be shocked by him. 

James takes a long drag on the cigarette and holds the smoke in for a moment, exhaling slowly upwards, before rolling his head on the wall to face Severus, who’s gaze is fixed in the trees in front of them. 

“Had to upset a girl to do it. I hope you’re suitably impressed,” Severus answers. 

He looks at James and grins. 

James sniggers and looks away 

“Yeah, ‘had to’,” James replies. 

He takes another drag and offers it to Severus, who ignores it. 

The Slytherin puts his hands in his pockets and pushes himself off the wall, before walking a few paces away and turning to face James. 

“I take it there’s a reason you wanted to meet outside out our usual ‘visiting hours’?” 

Severus looks relaxed but James’ body tightens at this question and he hastily smokes a few times before throwing the butt on the floor and crushing it with his foot. 

He stares at it while he speaks. 

“I just don’t know if I can do this anymore.” He states sadly. 

Severus shift his weight so most of it is on his left leg and leans slightly, cocking his head quizzically. 

“Do what, James?” 

“Sneak around.” James replies, still looking at the floor. 

Snape’s stance eases. 

“I want to tell people. I really feel bad keeping this from my friends! I feel like I’m betraying you when I kiss other people, I feel so alive when I sleep with you, it’s too much, I feel so guilty!” 

James looks up at Severus desperately, only to have a hard stare returned to him. 

“Betraying me? We have each other’s hearts, our bodies are our own, you know that,” The Sytherin says slowly. 

James nods but doesn’t say anything. 

Severus spins on his left foot, turning away, “Go out with that Evans girl: kiss her, shag her, marry her, have a load of kids, I don’t mind!” 

James looks back at the floor as Severus spins back to face him squarely “but the one thing you mustn’t do is tell anyone.” 

His words seemed to hang between them for a minute. 

Severus sighs. 

He walks right up to James and gently lifts James’ chin with his hand. 

“Touching up another lad is like using an unforgivable curse: everyone will hate us and we’ll likely end up in Azkaban.” 

He sighs a second time and takes his place leaning against the wall next to James again, playing with a stone under one of his boots. 

“Being gay isn’t illegal, Sev,” 

“Oh yeah? How many openly gay wizards do you know?” Severus shoots back. 

James shrugs and his grin returns. 

“No ‘great wizards’, that’s for sure!” The Griffendor jokes. 

Severus chuckles and grabs the back of James’ shirt playfully before pushing him away. 

“Now you’re getting it. We have to join the war, remember! We have to achieve greatness!” 

James smiles and dives at Severus, pushing him against the wall. 

Severus grabs onto James’ sleeves but does not push him off. 

James smiles down at him. “Our other little obsession: glory and influence, of course,” he states. 

“It seems to me, mate, that the great witches and wizards of old are as important now as they were when they were alive. You only die when the last person says your name for the last time. True immortality,” 

“So you recon everyone will know the name ‘Potter’ long after the war?” 

“Yeah, but you’ll be dead by then,” Snape sniggers. 

The two laugh together. 

They look round again, and spotting no one, weave their legs together and stand chest to chest, leaning on the wall. 

“So that’s your master plan for us? Both die in glorious battle?” James asks quietly. 

“Die young- live forever,” Snape replies.


	15. Chapter 15

James does go out with the ‘Evans girl’ in seventh year.

All of his careful studying for all the wrong reasons has earned him the Head Boy position, teaming with her as Head Girl. 

He still enjoys his friends but they sit in the back of his mind while he juggles his two love affairs- one open, one secret. 

 

Severus has taken to sleeping around, though he does enjoy the company of some of the girls he is with.

One girl- Bellatrix, is particularly fun. 

She is as exciting as she is sadistic and brings out the worst in him every time she is close. 

James doesn’t like her and quickly requests she be dropped from their lives, Severus unceremoniously obliges by breaking up with her from the top of the astronomy tower to a jeering crowd below. She does not take this well and swears vengeance, Severus just swears. 

 

James takes on his new role within the school with grace and his usual pragmatism.

He is a romantic boyfriend to Lily, hiding all of his darkness and showing her light and passion. 

Severus makes it clear he finds the displays of affection amusing by pretending to gag every time the Griffendors are nearby, cackling from the shadows. 

James supresses the urge to giggle with him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: BLOOD PLAY.   
> Can be skipped.

Severus has invented a new dark spell which he delights in sharing with James.

James stands before him in the Room of Requirement, feeling like a mouse watching a cat stalk up to him. 

Severus has tattoos covering his whole left arm, more pictures standing on his skin on his right, keeping the werewolf company. 

Without a shirt and them on show like this, he looks more terrifying than ever. 

“Hold out your arm, I have something to show you,” Severus says, an edge of something sinister to his request. 

James fixes a relaxed look on his face as he holds his arm out, pushing away his conscious mind. 

Severus pulls out his wand and James cannot supress a flinch. 

Severus stills and looks at him. 

“Don’t you trust me?” He enquires. 

“Of course not, I know you,” James replies. 

“But you’ll stay still anyway?” 

“Oh, Yes.” 

Severus grins at him before turning his attention to the exposed flesh before him. 

“Sectumsempra,” Severus spells, whipping his wand down. 

The cord which comes out of the tip of his wand slashes a deep cut into James’ arm, who hisses and struggles not to pull away. 

 

They stand there, a silent fascination with the blood which is now slowly tricking down from the cut and dropping in thick beads to the floor.

James’ breath hitches in his throat as he watches it pool on there. 

Severus puts his wand on the sofa and gently touches the cut, pulling away slowly and looking at his blood covered fingertips, spreading it between them. 

James stays perfectly still as he watches Severus put his blood soaked finger to his mouth and lick it with a single swipe of his tongue. 

James’ brain has now stopped working entirely and all his focus is on the Slytherin, who he gazes at, fascinated. 

Severus wipes his hand on his own chest, leaving streaks of James’ blood on his skin, before giving James a small nod and a smile. 

James’ looks back at his arm, blood still oozing out of the wound. 

“What the fuck was that?” James asks, eyes shooting to Severus. 

Severus crosses his arms and looks him dead in the eye. 

“A little invention-do you like it? Imagine the damage that could do to our enemies,” 

“You put your mind to creating a new spell and THIS is what your twisted imagination came up with?” James asks, voice rising beyond his control. 

He is stunned, in awe and deeply disturbed all at the same time. 

Severus’ eyes narrow and darken. 

He walks up to James so his nose is inches away from his face. 

James resists the urge to run, heart racing. 

“What’s wrong, mate? Too much for you?” Severus challenges. 

 

Severus cries out as James’ fist collides with his jaw, knocking him left.

He grabs onto the sofa to stop himself from falling and manages to get out of the way of a swift kick, aimed at his legs. 

He stands and throws a punch back, but his blow is deflected and he is pushed onto the sofa, James pinning him under him. 

“You like blood so much, choke on it, you sick fuck!” James shouts, pressing his cut against Severus’ lips. 

Severus kicks and struggles but James knows how to hold him down and this proves a waste of energy. 

His mouth slowly fills with the metallic tasting liquid and his eyes widen as it threatens to block his breathing. 

He looks up at James, who is watching him die with nothing short of joy on his face. 

Severus swallows some of the blood to allow himself oxygen and his stomach does a disgusted lurch. 

He looks into the eyes of his excited companion and silently begs him not to kill him like this. 

James leans down, nose nearly touching the Slytherin’s, writhing underneath him. 

“What’s wrong, mate?” James asks quietly, “too much for you?” 

Severus lets out a groan of pleasure at the sheer wrongness of it all and James takes his arm from the Slytherin’s mouth and kisses him instead. 

Severus opens his mouth as James sucks and shares the blood, red beads rolling down both their chins and onto their bodies. 

Severus sits up without breaking their contact and pulls James fully chest to chest. 

Moans and growls fill the room as they intertwine slick with blood and sweat. 

 

Half an hour later they lie next to each other on the floor, panting and sated.

“Can you close this wound please? I feel dizzy,” James says to the ceiling. 

Severus retrieves his wand from where it fell and mumbles an incantation. 

The bleeding stops and the cut seals. 

James gazes up at him, dripping crimson from head to toe. 

“I can’t believe you would create something so horrifying,” James says. 

Severus chuckles and starts to pull on his clothes. 

“I can’t believe you would use your own blood as a murder weapon AND a sex prop,” comes the sharp reply. 

James laughs and grabs his own clothes. “What the hell is wrong with us?” he asks. “Fuck knows, but I like it.”


	17. Chapter 17

As the school year draws to a close, the two boys stand in the astronomy tower, watching the other students interacting below.

Severus is not wearing anything even resembling his uniform, opting instead for black jeans, heavy boots, his hat and a black tee shirt. 

James is in his school robes, done up smartly and finished off with his head boy pin. 

They look like opposites, yet the boys knew different. 

“Professor Slughorn asked me where I saw myself in five years’ time,” Severus says conversationally. 

“Oh yeah? What did you say?” 

“Dead or in jail,” 

“At least you have realistic expectations,” James replies, smiling down at the scene below. 

Severus takes his arm and turns them to face each other. 

“We’re about to join the war, you know, mate. I hope you’re ready for some fun,” Severus says. 

James flashes him a wide smile and nods. 

“This world isn’t good enough for us, Sev,” 

“Let’s tear it all down then.” 

 

James sits in Dumbledore’s office, looking around the room.

It is decorated as eccentrically as the Headmaster’s personality and he is enthralled with all the little whiling gizmos and flashing objects. 

A noise behind him snaps him out of his daydreams and the old man sits down at the desk in front of him. 

James shifts in his chair and locks his eyes to the sparkling blue orbs of the headmaster’s. 

“James, my boy, thank you for seeing me. I know you are very busy with your exams so I won’t keep you long,” Dumbledore begins. 

James is fairly used to seeing Dumbledore, as the man seems to have taken a shine to him in the last few years. 

He almost completely ignores Severus. 

Big mistake, James thinks darkly. 

“I must let you in on a little secret, James, but first you must promise me one thing. You must not say a word to anyone I have not given you express permission to speak about it to-do you promise me this?” 

“Yes, sir,” 

“Good boy,” Dumbledore settles in his chair and gazes at James through steeple fingers. 

“I would like to invite you to join a secret organisation I have set up to fight against Voldemort and his forces.” 

James’ thoughts halt and his mouth drops open in disbelief. 

The headmaster ignores this reaction and continues on. 

“We are called ‘The Order of the Phoenix’ and are outside of the Ministry’s control or indeed knowledge. I am going to make this completely clear to you: It will be dangerous,” his eyes twinkle, “but I trust that is not off-putting to a brave Griffendor such as yourself.” 

“Professor?” 

“Yes, my boy?” 

“You had me at ‘fight against Voldemort’.” 

 

“There is no fighting him, you can’t kill an idea once it has taken root,” Severus dismisses.

James sits on the floor of the astronomy tower gathering up the last of his exam revision. 

He turns to his friend angrily. 

“So what are you going to do? Nothing?” James asks. 

Severus puts his cigarette out on the flagstones by the window and grins at him. 

He says nothing as he leaves the tower without James.


	18. Chapter 18

Severus shivers on the cold stone floor of the abandoned building.

He has raised his magic to his skin but it is doing little to fight off the chilling feeling he is experiencing in his core. 

He is surrounded by masked figures dressed in black robes and before him stands the man who will raise him to greatness. 

Or kill him now. 

Whatever, he thinks. 

He is in awe through the fear, he gazes up at the dark figure with wonder, feeling the raw power as it comes rippling off him. 

Severus’ magic is like electricity, James is like fire, this being was like water, lapping at his body like smooth waves of malice. 

He was so beautiful. 

“Tell me why you have sought me out, Severus Snape,” comes the silky voice. 

The words seem to bury themselves into Severus’ ears and stab into his mind like piercing knives. 

He supresses a shudder and turns his face upwards to take in the being. 

“My Lord, I have come to humbly request to join your struggle. I am a wizard of great power and feel I can-“ 

“I will decided if you are worthy, boy!” Snaps the Dark Lord. 

Severus swallows hard. 

This isn’t going the way he had imagined. 

The Dark Lord walks towards him and stands over him, looking down. 

For the first time in his life, Severus feels he is in the presence of a true master of magic. 

He is overwhelmed by his amazement and tears fall freely down his face. 

It is unlike anything he has felt before. 

He stares up at the Dark Lord, unwilling to wipe the tears away. 

“You are incredible!” He chokes. 

The Dark Lord’s face breaks into a smile and he places his hand on Severus’ head. 

Severus feels it radiating warmth from every point of contact. 

He wants to get closer but dares not move, basking in the glory of the power he can feel. 

He closes his eyes and lets out a gentle sigh. 

“You have great potential but they never saw it, did they? Those sorry excuses for ‘users of magic’? So much raw talent right here-I can feel it within you, strength, courage, power, yes- Lord Voldemort sees all.” 

The words don’t seem to be coming from his ears, they seem to be echoing in his mind itself. 

Severus sighs again and shifts his weight so he is kneeling up at the Dark Lord’s feet. 

The Dark Lord’s smile widens at this display. 

“I can give you the glory you crave, Severus. I can make them see you-respect you- fear you! I will make you ascend to your true greatness! All I ask is your devotion, your love, your obedience. Serve me, and the Dark Lord will give you all of your deepest desires,” he has spoken this, though Severus is barely aware of the difference. 

The Dark wizard has ensnared his soul, spread through his body like a virus and prickles on the surface of his skin. 

It feels glorious. 

“I will, my master, I will serve you, I will love you, I will do anything you ask. Please let me serve you,” Severus begs. 

“Very well, Severus, you may stand in the presence of your new master.”


	19. Chapter 19

James dives for cover as another curse flies passed him.

He swears loudly and holds onto his injured arm. 

Frank Longbottom, an auror and a member of the Order, flips over the bench which he is hiding behind and lands hard next to him, panting. 

“Ok,” Frank starts to say, “you run left and flank them from behind, I have the lead Death Eaters-got it?” 

Frank wipes the sweat from his brow as the younger wizard nods to him. 

Frank sees in James’ face-not for the first time-excitement when there should be fear. 

James feels exhilarated and he struggles to keep his joy off his face. 

This is the kind of thing he and Severus had craved- the danger, the thrill, the violence-it was wonderful. 

 

James runs left low, years of training guiding his body perfectly. 

He stuns two Death Eaters from behind and steps over them to a wall, seeking cover again. 

He presses himself there, breathing hard. 

He can’t see the last Death Eater, nor Frank, but he can hear blasts from far in the distance. 

Suddenly there is a wand in his face. He turns to see a skeleton mask glinting in the moonlight. 

Neither moves for a long moment. 

“Who are you?” James asks angrily. 

“A dark wizard,” comes a familiar reply. 

James holds his breath for a minute having heard the voice he knows so well coming from behind the mask. 

Gently, the wand is lowered and the Death Eater steps into the light. 

He is wearing torn black jeans, a chain from his belt and a black tee shirt. 

His arms have on them familiar tattoos. 

“Sev?” James asks, astonished. 

Severus pulls off his mask and shoots him a cheeky smile. 

“Sorry I haven’t been in touch for a while, mate,” Severus says to his stunned companion, “been a bit busy, you see.”


	20. Chapter 20

James holds in the smoke for a moment then pushes it out his mouth in a smoke ring, then passes the cigarette back to Severus.

They sit with their backs to the wall in the long abandoned village, within view of the two unconscious Death Eaters. 

Severus takes it from him and draws on it deeply. 

“So I couldn’t help but noticing you’ve joined the other side,” James says. 

Severus blows out the smoke and points to the wedding ring on James’ left hand. 

“That’s so funny, I was about to say the same thing,” he answers. 

James plays with the ring for a moment before looking into Severus’ eyes. 

“We only left school a few months ago and I’ve got married to a girl and you’ve joined a crazy death-cult,” James muses. 

Severus laughs and passes the cigarette back. 

“Sounds like us,” he states simply. 

James shrugs and finishes the cigarette, stubbing it out on his far side. 

“We used to play light wizards versus dark wizards when we were kids. You’ve put it on steroids!” James says to the air. 

Severus shifts next to him and stands up, walking over to his fallen friends. 

“You mind if I take these guys back to the Dark Lord?” Severus asks, poking one with his foot, “He’s not big on failure, so you’d be doing me a favour.” 

“What do I get in return?” James asks from his still seated position. 

“I won’t kill you or your auror friend,” comes the offer. 

James laughs and pushes himself up. 

He puts his hands in his pockets and saunters over to the Slytherin, coming to a stop inches away. 

He reaches his hand up and cups his cheek before pressing a kiss to Severus’ lips. 

He pulls away and turns on his heal. 

“Deal,” he says, walking into the distance. 

Severus watches him walk away, smiling to himself.


	21. Chapter 21

Severus is nineteen and he feels violent. 

His upper body is covered by a long, black wizard robe. 

He wears his back jeans and heavy boots beneath it giving him an intimidating appearance. 

He has stopped cutting his hair and it falls in black curtains, obscuring his face. 

 

When he enters the dungeons, the three captives have gone quiet. 

Their frightened eyes watch as he strips off his robes slowly, leaving him shirtless, muscled and tattooed. 

He takes off his mask and lights a cigarette, taking a slow drag and smiling a dark smile. 

“The Dark Lord tells me you have information that you aren’t sharing,” he says casually.

There is a ripple of fear from the captives. 

“I thought perhaps you would be a little more forward if I came down myself to ask you.” 

“We don’t know anything!” A woman in chains cries out. His obsidian eyes fall on her and she recoils. 

 

James is sitting in the kitchen at his home with Lily. They are worried and are reading the Daily Prophet together.

“Another disappearance, what is he up to?” Lily asks, clearing the cups from the table and staring out of the window. 

James shrugs, looking sadly at the picture of the kidnapped man. 

His secret lover has told him this man is already dead, his body will surely be found soon. 

“Something tells me we’ll find out.” James replies. 

Lily starts to cry and James gets up, wrapping his arms around her narrow frame. 

Nothing ever seems to get to himself or Severus, this is a game to them. 

Lily’s reactions are often puzzling to James. He hushes her and she stills. 

“It’s all just so horrible!” Lily states. 

“It’ll be alright, my love.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: implied torture, Blood and gore.

There is commotion at the Order Headquarters as the Potters walk in. 

Everyone is exclaiming from the kitchen and Dumbledore can be heard trying to calm them. 

James and Lily enter quickly and stop dead. 

There is the body of a young woman on the table. 

She is covered in deep lacerations and her eyes are open in terror. 

Blood covers her from head to toe-even James is disturbed by the sight. 

“She was left just outside Hogsmead,” whispers Sirius to James. “Definitely meant to be found.” 

The Headmaster and the Longbottoms are examining the body carefully with their wands. 

They are muttering quick observations to each other, inaudible to the rest of the Order. 

Finally, Dumbledore stands up and addresses the anxious group. 

“It seems we have a new spell to deal with.” He states. 

“Headmaster?” Asks Professor McGonagall. “You mean she was killed by magical means?” 

“I believe so,” The Headmaster says, “These slashes are caused by magic, there is little doubt.” 

James’ mind comes to an abrupt halt and for a long time, the conversation goes on without his being aware. 

_Sectumsempra?_

He stares at the mangled corpse, the petrified expression, the look in her dead eyes and he feels the urge to vomit. 

He dashes out of the room and makes it to the sink, emptying his stomach violently. 

He stares for a moment at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, sweating and pale. 

“He wouldn’t do that. This can’t be happening.” He says to himself quietly. 

Frank comes slowly into the room and places a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“First dead body?” He asks softly. 

James is too shocked to answer, his mind is racing and his voice is lost to him. 

He suddenly feels violent. His eyes snap to Frank and he pushes him away hard. 

Frank falls over and watches helplessly as James leaves the room in the direction of the front door. 

Lily is chasing him, calling his name. 

He turns to her abruptly, and for the first time, Lily sees his darkness. 

He shakes his head to her, turns on his heal and walks out into the street.


	23. Chapter 23

Severus can feel his magic, electrical sparks, dancing across his skin. 

It has risen all on its own and it is starting to hurt him. 

He looks out of the window of his house and smiles excitedly. 

A storm, the ferocity of which has never been seen before, is gathering. 

He braces for the impact. 

 

Severus jumps back as his front door is blown off its hinges.

His soul mate steps into the house, wand raised, eyes wildly searching. 

Severus gets his wand out of his robe and tugs the restrictive garment off. 

James spots him and fires a curse, which Severus dodges. 

The curse smashes the mirror over the fireplace, raining glass shards down on the Slytherin. 

Severus crouches down and grabs the iron fire poker in his other hand, retreating behind the sofa. 

He hears James approaching his hiding place, he crawls over to the other side and flanks him from behind. 

James turns and two curses meet in the air and bounce in all directions, smashing vases and book shelves as they hit. 

James throws his wand to the floor and pounces, landing heavily on Severus’ chest, knocking him on his back. 

James straddles him and starts punching the Slytherin’s ribs, earning pained gasps from this victim, frantically trying to wrestle him off. 

“James! Stop!” Severus shouts. James stills and glares down. 

“I should fucking kill you, you sick fuck!” He replies, his voice shaking dangerously. 

Severus gazes up at him and lays his arms out on either side, leaving himself vulnerable. 

They lock eyes and James grabs the dropped fire poker. 

He raises it above his head and picks a spot to bring it down. 

His arms refuse to obey him. Severus is still lying with his arms outstretched at his sides, eyes locked on James’, face unreadable. 

James wills himself to use the weapon, but starts to drop it to the floor, defeated. 

 

Severus reaches for James’ hands and knits their fingers together.

James pulls them up, pinning Severus’ hands over his head. 

He leans down and kisses him roughly, biting the Slytherin’s lips, drawing blood. 

Severus groans and fights back with his own teeth, grinding his hips against James’. 

Both feel angry. 

Both feel violent. 

 

Severus and James sit in the wreckage of the living room, side by side, naked and bloody.

They are both staring off into space, neither has spoken a word since the fight. 

Severus looks at James, who has tears silently sliding down his face. 

He resists the urge to kiss them from his cheeks, fixing his gaze on the shards of the mirror instead. 

Their reflections look back at him, cracked and broken. 

Severus feels alone.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Car crash.

James is speeding on his motorbike, riding away from the pursuers in the car behind him.

Sirius weaves in and out of the traffic beside him, barely keeping up. 

James has provoked this chase. 

He has been angry and cannot stop lashing out at anyone who dares to get near him. 

Lily has been comforting, Sirius has been encouraging. 

James’ magic burns in his core. 

 

He feels free as the wind whips at his face, adrenaline spiking pleasantly.

He steers his bike around a car and accelerates faster. 

Sirius follows suit and re-joins along-side him. 

James sees the look on Sirius’ face and is reminded of Severus, wild and excited. 

Danger. 

He and Severus were both drawn to it. 

Without warning, James flicks left, confusing the Death eater driving the car. 

The car skids and flips over, rolling several times before coming to a stop upside down. 

Sirius and James drive their bikes to the wreck and jump off, running to the car. 

Both men in the car were dead, crushed by the impact. 

James smiles darkly and turns on his heal, getting back on his bike. 

Sirius looks at him, disturbed by his friend’s reaction.


	25. Chapter 25

Severus is twenty and he has not seen James for almost a year.

The other Death Eaters are wary of him as he has taken to striking anyone who dares to get close. 

No one comforts him. No one encourages him. 

Severus is alone. 

 

There are a few of the Dark Lord’s followers in the dark tavern.

Lucius Malfoy has taken to Severus and is sitting with him, the others occasionally glancing over nervously. 

“The Dark Lord seems to be very impressed with you, Severus,” Lucius observes. 

Severus grins in response. 

“I have never known such talent from someone so young,” Lucius continues, “Potions, duelling, charms, wandless magic- how do you pick it all up so easily?” 

Severus shrugs and waves a hand lazily over the wick of a candle, which sparks to a flame under his fingertips. 

“I will rise to become one of the greatest wizards of all, Lucius. The Dark Lord has personally taught me more than all of the teachers at Hogwarts combined.” 

“You are destined for power, my friend, that much is clear.” 

 

Severus waits by the door of the room in the Hog’s Head pub. 

He has been sent to spy on Dumbledore who is conducting an interview for a new staff member at the school. 

He stands patiently, listening intently. 

The conversation so far has been mundane and he starts to wonder why the Dark Lord has sent him, until he feels a change in the air. 

The room has gone quiet. 

Severus steps closer, pressing himself against the door, straining to hear. 

A voice hits his ear, not unlike the woman being interviewed, but flat, trance-like. 

“The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…” 

Severus’s breath is caught in his throat. 

“OI!” Comes an angry voice from the stairs. 

Severus leaps from the door as if it were on fire and stared at the owner of the pub. 

He sneers down at the angry man with contempt. 

“What are you doing, lad? Eavesdropping?” The man says, approaching him. 

Severus shrugs and allows himself to be manhandled down the stairs and out of the door. 

He stands outside, smiling. 

He had what he’d come for anyway.


	26. Chapter 26

James is reading an auror’s report at home when the phone rings from the table in the corner of the room.

He ignores it until he remembers Lily is shopping in the village and gets off the floor to answer it. 

“Hello?” 

“It’s me,” comes Severus’ voice. 

James shifts his weight to one leg and the receiver to the other ear. 

“What do you want?” he asks. 

“Stop being so stubborn and join the Dark Lord. The ministry is full of our spies, the Order is being picked off one by one and our power is ever increasing. I cannot bare to see you lose so pathetically.” 

“Who says we’re going to lose?” 

“Join me.” 

“No.” 

“Then you’ll lose our game.” Came the reply. 

James looks at the floor, then ahead of himself defiant. 

“If anything happens to me, my son will avenge me.” He states. 

There is silence on the line for a long few seconds. 

“Fuck you.” Severus spits. 

 

Severus is twenty one and feels empty and alone. 

This has become his new normal. 

He brews potions for the Dark Lord and his followers at home during the day. 

He uses his cat-like stealth for spy missions at night. 

Severus feels powerful but alone. 

 

James is enjoying his new family member, playing games and telling him the stories he and Severus once shared. 

His heart aches at the memories but he accepts the pain without question. 

There is a new normal now, a new boy to love.


	27. Chapter 27

Severus is standing with the other Death Eaters in a circle around the Dark Lord.

His beautiful master is looking triumphant and regards them all with pride in his eyes. 

“My friends, the end of the War is in sight-our victory has been assured!” He announced. 

The masked men and women know better than to cheer, but no one can help feeling elated. 

Severus feels powerful. 

“Our dear friends have made a prophesy about my downfall. Such a pity for them that Severus heard it and relayed it back to me!” His gaze has fallen on Severus, his face beaming. 

Severus feels pride rising in his chest. He allows a smile to break on his lips. 

“The one who has the power to stop me is a very young infant named Harry Potter,” The Dark Lord explains. 

The name strikes Severus like an axe and his mind is sent into a wild spin. 

His breath catches and his legs feel suddenly weak. 

“He is the son of two people who have ‘Thrice defied me’- Lily and James Potter- favourites of our friend, Albus Dumbledore.” The Dark Lord spits the wizard’s name with a look of disgust. 

Severus feels panic for the first time in his life and struggles to hold back a cry. 

“I will discover their whereabouts and dispatch them all personally. This will end our War. We will be victorious!” The Dark Lord is speaking but Severus cannot register his words anymore. 

Suddenly he feels stupid. 

Suddenly he feels numb. 

Suddenly he feels alone. 

 

Severus paces his house, unsure what to do, frantic and afraid.

“It wasn’t supposed to end like this!” He screams into the darkness of the living room. 

“This was supposed to be fun!” He pulls his bookshelves over, kicking the magic books angrily. 

He pulls a picture off the wall and smashes the glass on the floor. 

His boots crunch on the slivers and he starts to cry.


	28. Chapter 28

James is ignoring his companion’s calls.

He feels uneasy and is convinced he can feel a darkness approaching. 

He turns Severus’ owls away without reading the letters, he has no patience for angry nonsense now. 

There is a storm coming and James must be ready. 

 

Severus has tried contacting his soul mate to no avail-his companion has turned his back on him.

His mind is sending him idea after idea but nothing makes sense or assures James’ safety. 

He has tried convincing the Dark Lord to no avail-his master has turned his back on him. 

 

Severus sits in his destroyed living room amongst the broken things; books torn to shreds, broken glass and blood on the floor.

He lights a cigarette and blows the smoke into the empty room. 

He quietly curses his arrogance, his love of danger, his darkness and his lies. 

Their child-like game is over. 

They have both lost. 

Their lives are no longer about glory or power- they are about survival.


	29. Chapter 29

Severus is alone and he feels afraid.

He is standing on a hilltop, overlooking a pretty countryside, but he pays no attention to the beauty. 

All he sees is the blackness of the night. 

All he sees is darkness. 

 

He lights a cigarette and blows the smoke up and away from him, tendrils of silver like a Patronus surround him as the moonlight hits the vapour.

All is still. 

A storm is approaching. 

 

In a moment of blinding light, Severus is knocked back violently from his thoughts.

His mind becomes panic as he sees the new arrival to the scene. 

He is unsure of himself and unsure of the outcome of this meeting. 

Severus feels alone and he does not feel powerful anymore. 

 

He is the presence of a true master of magic once again.

 

Dumbledore stands before him, blazing with a flame brighter than the sun.

Severus jumps away from the heat of his glare and cowers on the floor. 

 

“What is the meaning of this, Severus Snape?” The Great Wizard spits.

“Don’t kill me!” Comes the frightened response. “

Answer me, Death Eater!” 

 

Severus feels ashamed.

He looks up at his old Headmaster with reverence and fear, taking soothing breaths, finding his centre. 

He must save James. 

He cannot die yet. 

 

He finds his cigarette on the ground and sits back on his heels, breathing in the smoke and exhaling harshly.

Dumbledore waits patiently, burning fury mixed with curiosity. 

Finally, Severus finds his voice. 

“The prophecy, the one I heard in the Hog’s Head…” 

“You conveyed it back to the Dark Lord, I trust?” 

Severus feels a stab of pain deep in his core. 

His magic sparks and all he can do is nod. 

He finishes his cigarette before speaking again. 

“He thinks it refers to the Potters. He is going to go after them.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” The older wizard asks, suspiciously. 

Severus’ stomach lurches and his eyes sting with tears. 

He puts his head in his hands and does his best to stop shaking. 

“James.” He states simply. 

He cannot look at the older wizard, nor can he bare to say more. 

Something sparks between the two men as they engage in a silent battle of wills. 

“As I recall you did not enjoy each other’s company! I had complaints about your fighting from the moment you stepped through the doors of the castle! Why on earth would you want to help him now?” 

Severus feels violent. 

He stands up and faces the older wizard directly, staring him in the eyes. 

His robes whip around him as his magic rises to the surface of his skin. 

Small flowers and plants are struck and are torn apart around them. 

“It’s none of your business,” Severus shouts, “are you going to help or aren’t you?”


	30. Chapter 30

Dumbledore stands before Severus’ violence unmoved.

“Let me explain to you how this works. You give me information, I assess whether or not I believe it. I cannot do that if you refuse to give me all of the information.” 

Dumbledore’s voice is even and his blue eyes are sparkling dangerously. 

Severus steps back, his power fading. 

His shoulders slump, defeated. 

He cannot die yet. 

He has to save James. 

“It was a game.” He says to the air. 

“What was?” 

“Me and James. It was a game. We were training each other for the war. We wanted to be great wizards and achieve glory. All we have done is put ourselves in a situation which will end in both of our deaths.” 

“Training each other? Glory?” It was Dumbledore’s turn to step back. 

Severus continues. 

“James and I have a connection. We met when we were little and loved the stories of the wars of the past. We have been fighting each other from opposite sides, as we always have, but now…” 

Severus cannot continue. 

He folds down and starts to sob. 

Dumbledore takes several steps towards him and folds his hands behind his back. 

“Severus, what are you telling me? What do you mean, ‘connection’?” 

Dumbledore places his hand on Severus’ head and immediately regrets it. 

He pulls back in pain and anger as sparks leap from the point of contact. 

Severus’ head snaps up and he glares at the old man. 

“Love. We are connected by love. We have been conducting a secret relationship right under all of your noses for more than a decade! Not so clever now, are you?” 

Dumbledore stares in disbelief as the sobs return to Severus. 

"You and James? Why would you hide such a thing?” 

“How many great gay wizards do you know?” Severus snaps. 

Dumbledore’s eyes shine with a curious sparkle but he says nothing. 

He looks down with pity at the crying young man before him. 

“It is not I who thought he was clever, Severus.” Dumbledore’s voice is softer, but his words strike with shocking precision. 

Severus drops down to his knees and cries out in agony. 

“Severus, do not fear,” Dumbledore says, gently, “I will help you, but only if you do something for me. Do you agree?” 

“Anything!” Severus says to the floor, “anything!”


	31. Chapter 31

James can feel a storm approaching.

Dread holds him in an icy embrace with no explanation as he stares at the swirling clouds in his mind. 

Curiously, the storm clouds have started striking with lightning. 

 

Lily enters the living room, her face the picture of confusion.

“We have had two owls today,” She says. 

James feels anxious as her regards her expression. 

“Oh?” 

“One is from Dumbledore, he wants us to meet him at headquarters,” 

“The other?” 

Lily’s expression twists into a smile. 

“It’s addressed to ‘Godric the Great’. It says it’s from ‘Dragon Killer’. I think it’s a joke.” She says dismissively. 

James jumps out of the chair on instinct and snatches the letter from his wife’s grip. 

He tears at the envelope wildly and opens the note. 

He gasps and drops it to the floor, panic rising. 

On the note is written a single word, but its effect is terrifying. 

 

“RUN.”


	32. Chapter 32

James goes to Dumbledore, protecting Lily and Harry by leaving them in the safety of the charms around their home.

He feels frantic and needs answers. 

James feels alone. 

 

Dumbledore is waiting for him in the kitchen of headquarters with Sirius and Remus.

They look worried and go to greet him, but it is not them he wants to see. 

James burns passed them and straight to Dumbledore. 

 

“I got a worrying note this morning telling me to run. What is going on?” He demands.

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle darkly. 

“There has been a report that Lord Voldemort is coming after you and your family,” Dumbledore states. 

James is filled with terror and he grasps at his hair in response. 

“Who-who told you that?” 

“A reliable source.” 

“Who?” 

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle again. 

“A dark wizard.” He replies. 

James is mixed with confusion and fear as he looks at the older man. 

There is a silent conversation between them as James starts to understand. 

“We must hide you. Sirius has requested to be your secret keeper.” Dumbledore says after a while. 

James turns to his friend and nods. 

Trust floats in the void between them. 

James shakily sits down at the table and the four make hurried plans.


	33. Chapter 33

James and Lily jump at the knock on their door.

James raises his wand and Lily takes Harry into the other room. ] 

James scans with his wand but does not detect a threat. 

He quickly opens the front door or his home, wand that the throat of the visitor. 

He slowly lowers it as her recognises the face. 

 

"What are you doing here, Peter?” James asks the man sitting opposite. 

Peter was a friend from school, the fourth member of their little group. 

However he had never truly belonged with them and Severus had told James to be wary of him. 

 

“I’m not clear on his character,” Severus had explained. 

 

Now here he was, sipping his tea nervously. 

“My dear James, I heard about the threat made against you- Moony and Padfoot are very worried!” He says. 

James eases with the use of their friend’s nicknames and settles back in his chair. 

“I heard Sirius was going to be your secret keeper?” Peter asks. 

“He told you?” “

Yes, but if I can say, a little obvious.” 

The statement floats in the air between them and James feels fire boiling inside him. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that…”his friend says hurriedly, sensing danger, “I’m just so worried!”


	34. Chapter 34

James paces the room for what seems like hours.

He wishes he could smoke- they always smoked when they were thinking. 

His mind jolts, uncontrolled back to Severus and he palms the scar on his arm. 

He wishes he could speak to him, though how that would help is unclear in his mind. 

The memories of the feel of the Slytherin’s body against his. 

The safety of his arms. 

The tattoos and scars which only James knew the stories behind. 

His mind shutters through the past and yearns for the man he loves. 

He dismisses his reminisces with a wave of his hand and stands, stock still, in the middle of the room. He has made up his mind. 

 

“Peter? You can’t be serious!” Lily says from the fireplace.

“Sirius is too obvious, if he’s captured, Harry is in danger!” He argues. 

“But…Peter?” James is frustrated and cannot help thinking Severus would be thrilled with such a devious plan. 

He has to explain everything to the woman in his life. 

“Peter is a misfit, no one would suspect him! It’s perfect!” 

Where Lily should see fear, she sees excitement. 

She backs away. 

“James, think of our son. Can you trust Peter?”


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay.   
> Trigger warning, Major Character death.

James is with his family and he feels frightened but happy.

 

He reads stories to Harry, who devours them like a Dementor does souls-filling the boy’s head with hope and a sense of power.

His home is full of laughter and magic. 

They conceal their worries from the boy and use their imaginations to make Harry’s heart fly. 

They pretend happiness is normal. 

James is happy but he is not normal. 

He is about to die. 

 

It is Lily who reacts first to the intruder as he breaks passed their charms.

She cries out as she feels the darkness engulf her very soul and alerts James to the danger. 

 

James is in the living room with their son, filling the child’s head with tales of great wizards. 

His stomach lurches as his magic detects what his wife has. 

The Dark Lord is here. 

They have been betrayed. 

 

Lily runs to him and James hands her the boy.

His heart breaks and tears sting his eyes as he kisses them both a quiet goodbye and pushes them up the stairs to safety. 

 

He swallows hard and runs to the hall to face his death. 

His hands shake as her reaches for his wand in his robes. 

Sweat trickles down his neck and a numbness takes over his body. 

His hands find his pocket empty. 

 

The door bursts open and a tall, dark figure glides into the house in front of him. 

His heart stops as he looks into the eyes of the darkest force he has ever felt. 

His wand has been left behind in the panic. 

After all of the training, all of the practice, all of the play fights, it has all come undone with one mistake. 

He only has his life to defend his family with. 

 

He blinks and tears roll down his face. 

His attacker smiles and raises his wand. 

His breath catches as he waits for the end. 

Severus creeps into his head and James comforts himself with the words spoken to him all those years ago. 

“Die young. Live forever.” James says. 

 

There is a flash of green light and a crack.

 

James’ story is over.


	36. Chapter 36

Severus wakes up in a cold sweat, his left arm on fire.

He pulls up his sleeve to see the Dark Mark has vanished. 

 

He flicks careful fingers over where the Dark Lord had marked him and finds only milky white skin.

 

His breathing becomes heavy and happy sobs start erupting from his throat.

Severus feels happy. He is filled with hope and a sense of power. 

 

He dresses quickly in a black tee shirt, his jeans, boots and hat to keep his hair off his face and runs to the door.

He apparates to Hogsmead and runs to Hogwarts. 

 

Dumbledore is waiting for him in his office.

His face is tired and his eyes full of tears. 

Severus stops dead at the sight and cautiously steps toward him. 

 

“Headmaster, the Dark Mark is gone- The Dark Lord is dead?” He asks.

His heart is beating quickly and his thoughts are confused. 

“The Dark Lord has been destroyed but he is not gone completely. He will return.” Comes the reply. 

Severus is filled with hope. 

He feels happy. 

He feels powerful. 

“The final fight is a long time away, I fear, Severus, and we must do what we can to prepare in the meantime.” 

“How was he defeated? Did you find him? What happened?” 

Dumbledore’s expression darkens further and he stands, placing his hands on his desk. 

Severus feels suddenly frightened. 

“Lily Potter protected her son from the Dark Lord’s killing curse. Her magic made the spell rebound from the boy and destroy the Dark Lord instead.” 

“But-he found them?” 

Severus’ head is swimming now. 

His hands start shaking and his breath comes in pants. 

His mind starts racing. 

“I’m afraid so. 

Their secret keeper betrayed them. I’m so sorry, Severus…” 

“DON’T!” Severus grabs his hat and throws it on the floor. 

His magic rises and glass in the room shatters. 

“Severus, James is dead.”


	37. Chapter 37

Severus cannot breath.

He cannot think. 

His mind is blank and his heart aches. 

He has torn from the office and into the courtyard. 

He is vaguely aware of a few teachers watching as he stops in the middle, struggling for air, heart shattered. 

 

He pulls in a breath and uses it to scream as loud as he can to the sky, his magic striking with devastation around him, turning statues to rubble, stained glass to shattered shards. Fire places in the castle roar to hell-fire and pain and misery pour out of him in cries and sobs.

Finally, he collapses to the floor, tears flowing freely, writhing in emotional agony. 

Severus will always be alone. 

 

Severus tries to let go of life to no avail. His body refuses to abandon him. 

He wishes James back to no avail. His companion has abandoned him. 

 

He sleepwalks through the next few days, hazy and barely conscious. 

Dumbledore is concerned but his words of comfort cannot penetrate the grief he feels now. 

 

“I did it. I told the Dark Lord the Prophecy. My arrogance got him killed.” 

 

He keeps repeating his new mantra again and again to no one in particular until finally, words get through. 

“Sirius Black has been arrested.”


	38. Chapter 38

Severus snaps to reality and realises he is in Dumbledore’s office.

He blinks in the sunlight, unsure of the last time he has slept. 

“Good.” Comes his reply. 

Dumbledore eyes him carefully and continues. 

“The Dark Lord will come back, and when he does, I will need your help.” 

“What can I do? Without James, I am nothing.” 

“That is not the case, Severus. You are a great wizard in the making- powerful, talented and so intelligent. We need you-Harry needs you.” 

Severus’ head jerks up at the name and he looks into the blue eyes of the older wizard. 

“James died protecting Harry, Severus. The Dark Lord will rise again and when he does, he will come after the boy. Don’t let his sacrifice he in vain. Please help me protect Harry Potter.” 

Severus lets this thought linger in his head for a moment. His memories flood to the surface. 

“My son will avenge me.” James had said. 

“I thought it was called ‘love’.” 

“Our other little obsession: glory and influence…” 

James’ voice echoes in his head and he embraces the thoughts and the comfort they have brought him. 

One more memory makes him decide. 

“What’s wrong, mate? Too much for you?” James had challenged. 

“I will help you protect James’ son, on one condition: he must never know the truth.” 

“You want me to hide the best of you, Severus?” 

“I want you to hide the worst of him.” 

 

“So, you recon everyone will know the name ‘Potter’ long after the war?”  
“Yeah, but you’ll be dead by then.” 

James Potter and Severus Snape, age 16.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone, Chrizzii here. 
> 
> This was planned very carefully, I'm not totally happy with it but I think you can only rewrite something so many times. 
> 
> A big thank you for reading, leaving kudos and commenting!  
> Here are a couple of notes on the fic. 
> 
> 1) The blood stuff was my hat tip to the fact there was a fan theory that Snape was a vampire before all of the books came out. I was determined to have him fascinated with it in some way.   
> 2) This fic is 38 Chapters long, the same age Snape was when he died.   
> 3) I have been deliberately vague in some areas of their lives and done snapshots of conversations. The blanks are for the reader to fill in themselves so the fic is not just my imagination, but encouraging yours as well. If you want to know why I did anything in this fic, do ask me in the comments and I will reply, or send me your thoughts, I love to hearing them.  
> 4) The timeline and events are cannon accurate, there has been a lot of time researching (discounting the affair twist).   
> 5) On my rereads I find a new mistake every time. I will edit them out when I get the energy.  
> 6) If anyone wants to use any aspect of this, np, just let me know so I can read yours.   
> Thank you again, much love
> 
> Chrizzii

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Snake and the Lion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9767246) by [LilahMontgomery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilahMontgomery/pseuds/LilahMontgomery)




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